It is sad, but every momentous event that happens to me seems to affect me minimally, go WHOOSH over my head, and i am completely unchanged after it.
when in my life did i lose the capacity to just let go of my self-imposed cynicism and live life properly, with the childlike amazement it deserves?
when did i lose the ability to go after what i want, without thinking of the consequences and the potential failures and rejections?
when did i start undermining everything i really REALLY want so that when/if i don't get it, the loss is easier to bear?
and when did i just stop appreciating everything that happens to me.
i think it all started when i was ejected into the world, approximately 19.7 years ago. unfortunate, that.
well. guess 4 yrs among go-getter angmohs will sorta change that eh. hope to hell so.