Friday, July 6, 2007

i am running out of words that can convey boredom.

hello again, cybergremlins. i am supposed to be researching on some investor guru who is old and wrinkled but i am here. applaud my work ethic, gremlins! applaud! summore this is kind of a big piece. 800 words, dude. sweet. ok i bet this enthusiasm for 800 words will not last very very long.

in other news, dinner last night at Botan, a japanese restaurant with the motley crew of (s)Melissa (harhar. sorry, melissa.), felicia and beatrice. i ate the MOST FREAKING NICEST BOWL OF RICE TOPPED WITH TEN ZILLION RAW FISHES AND ROE. eh but the big fish roe, you know the orange eggs which burst into liquid in your mouth, look kinda like breasts, cos of the darker smidge of unborn fish inside. kinda like yolk, but ten zillion times grosser. so anyway, i arranged them into a damn long row and they looked funny. so many breasts leh.

ok. my brain is a flea. not even a flea's brain lor. it is a flea.

anyway. conversation abounded on, how shall i put it... very niche topics. Here is a sampler. Free of charge.
1. 14-yr-old mother
2. fat american spandax clad cosplayers who are so fat that they have crotch sweat stains
3. chua
4. obasan porn (grandmother porn. (yes.)
5. 'mrs chua! crayford is floating! what shall i do?'
6. 'heehee. let's shit in the green tea cup and put a towel over it so we can surprise the waitress'
7. on the green tea leaves at the bottom of the cup: auntie! your green tea hen anzhang leh
8. hardgay and his lovely leather panties.

oh. you must hear this.
me: eh who's the jap guy who always go around gyrating and always wear shiny black boots and leather panties ah?
melissa: (calmly) oh izzit rain?

ok actually you had to be there. but it was funny lor. it was. rain should er, vomit la.

after that we went home. me and beatrice reminisced upon the RJ days of yore.
where we were practically tortured.
two hour chem lessons in stuffy hot classroom and cannot sleep cos of stupid chua so the eyes will roll in different directions. then must smell dead bodies. and 2 hour chem pracs where TWENTY-FIVE bunsen burners will be up full blast, then chua will calmly turn off ALL the fans and CLOSE all the windows. siao k. siao.

hmm. BT has giant banner hanging over the newsroom. it proclaims proudly: The Business Times. We're serious, but fun!

God. that has to be one of the most depressingly loser things i have heard in my life. (hello BT people. if any of you are reading this, i didn't mean that previous sentence. i was just trying to act cool so my friends will like me. thanks and don't fire me)

speaking of depressing, i cannot go krabi. my friends will go krabi. they will have a great time. i will not. :( also, i am going to live in a nunnery in school. i THINK god is telling me... to be a lesbian. i mean, why else would he put me in an all girl house eh. why.

(i hope my readers can detect the sarcasm above. it is sarcastic because a) god doesn't like lesbians. b) god is putting me in an all girl house so i cannot have neigeneige. c) i was deliberately being stupid, for comic effect. d) that last question was rhetorical)

( i am doing this cos apparently many people in singapore cannot understand the concept of sarcasm. or english, for that matter. i was speaking to this guy and mentioned two gay boys. and he asked me: 'huh? gay as in...' AS IN AS IN. AS IN GAY PONDAN BAPOK LA HIYOH. then i SARCASTICALLY replied 'gay as in happy and merry' and he said 'really meh. i think you mean homosexual la' SDLJKGHAOUGUGJHAFGJFGUOJHJKLDFGIO then when he finally got it he said 'eee. so disgusting. against nature' WTTTTF.)

(oh i just realised WTTTTF means what the the the the the fuck. which is quite loser.)
oh! time to go home. bye!

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