last days

dangnabbit. one more week :(.

fri everyone (meaning shirin joy rachel christine simon luke and later adeline) came my house and i had to make 5 FREAKING TRIPS to the bus stop outside my house to fetch everyone in, as the 'hostess with the mostest'. but night was good! i made my er, trademark carrot cake complete with fugly green icing decorations and we sat around attas glass table and drank tea out of attas teacups poured out of attas teapot. we are high crass. evening went to buy chompchomp smorgasbord of singapore food (rojak hokkien mee lala stingray fish soup ohluak satay chicken wings caitaukway) and sat in backyard patio with donna summers-esque music blasting in background and nemo prancing around acting cute and getting muchos attention.

bringing out food from kitchen i snapped a mental picture (like insane alec baldwin in friends. click!) of 7 happy people sitting around crowded small round table piled high with food and tinkling with laughter. the heart... became warm like an oven, yo. (that is a justin timberlake song lyric. I SWEAR.)

after food had fruits and baileys/milo.
this is simon drinking 17% liquor content beverage: *sip*ARGHEMARGHEM*sip*ARGHEMARGHEM*sip*ARGHEMARGHEM.

aiyoh. so smooth la. hahaha.

rachel left early with the boizZzZ to meet gaymen so me christine adeline met abel at serangoon for icecream then came home slept with christine on the same bed facing opposite directions. mother was amused in the morning.

saturday went for breakfast with isolated pre u sem friend eric at ps cafe, who is certifiably insane(ly earnest) hahaha. had a good chat over SHIOK BREAKFAST. came home and slept whole afternoon away cos christine tired me out so much the night before. NO NEIGENEIGE HOR PLS DUNCH LET YOUR BRAIN GO THERE.

newaes. at night cell at olivia's house, where we had well, good clean fun. i invented game where must sing song while chewing on grapes and not choking on the juice or spitting it out. it's challenging. try.

today spent the whole day with family, which felt good. oh but i blew 170 bucks on 5 items at river island!!!! jeans included! happy like sai! dimsum feast at carlton hotel made me v v happy. then dinner i made father bring me to toa payoh to eat best ohluak in singapore. now got oil in oesophagus though it no feel good.

nyeheheh just now in car father told us story.
"there once was this guy who sold the damn best hokkien mee in singapore. i can hoot until finish myself. then one day he stopped selling. this was because he stood in front of the fire so long that his balls... dried up. i call him dalampar. heeheehee."
(yes the heeheehee was uttered. really.) aiyoh. HOW TO NOT SAY THINGS LIKE THESE FOR 4 MONTHS HUH HUH HUH . (anyway dalampar is dry testicles hor.)

nat's blog makes me v happy also. she made southpark character after me!
fanks nat i lub choo many many too!
er, the drool and food are self-explanatory la hor. am yellow, have eyeslits, and am wearing office clothes. AIYOH <3<3<3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiHjm4JmBa6OS86sCmy84aUSFavbFD3H04bF7yhJn1hF_30avgHm7uO9tKHh9OawZSVpBOaIorLEHM5MQVt47PRp4tXPdjzT65qSAiYfvT6ARtN7LSUB3OaYd5TfyQZ6cHD2HI4GNVU2-9a/s1600-h/abby.jpg">

update.

national day. woohoo. i spent the parade... on the bus. but i am wearing red today. i only noticed after i left the house... then i said 'uh-oh...' but too late to change.

yesterday was gym in the morning cos i am lardball but then i went to carousel with my homies (haha) and it all went to shit, cos the BUFFET IS BLARDY GOOD LA ZOMG. THANKS NAT. this is becoming food blog, btw. all i do is eat when i go out. eat and eat and EAT AND EAT AND EAT. (my i am going slightly bug-eyed as i type this, so i shall stop.) got dimsum and laksa and brownies and sashimi and chicken wings and pineapple rice and rock melon and cabbage roll... haha ok that last item is anti-climax BUT STILL GOOT LA K.

oh and i spread the news (this puts the 'ew' in 'news') about a certain ex-208-mate who, i just found out, harbours a non-platonic feeling for a certain other female in a different class. let me just say, ebony and ivory. (if dunno pls sms me i will be glad to explain.)

after that went to borders with them and sk (for the first time!) almost ALMOST made me cry cos she said in a small voice 'sam i very sad!'. ok i almost have tear again. not good. but there we saw ads;lfhauit cute monster notebooks which we are going to buy and exchange for farewell gifts. thank yous very much.

btw, me and sk have regressed. we both love er, roxy and ripcurl again. shoot us. oh btw, pls visit club21 at panpac plaza. it caters to sasquatch, i swear. just go and see thanks. will die.

after that i went home and panic for a while about packing then i went to eat (see!) prata again with neighbour cos i was stressed.

today met bitris felicai and smelissai at hongkong kim gary restaurant (shit we forgot to ask what is kim gary!) and ate food that will make me die at the age of 98 instead of 100. is rice smothered in cream, cheese, bolognaise and pork (gurgh. vomit again.), and msg-laden wanton soup, and fried bread smothered in peanut butter and condensed milk. i think... i should have to go on The Biggest Loser very soon la.

OH THEN WE TALK BOUT CLASS HOOKUPS HAHAHA. ok not hookups la and if anyone from 2S06C reads this, THE FOLLOWING PARAGRAPH IS A COMPLETE LIE. here are the almost-class-couples of 05-06 (notice how i am blissfully uninvolved in any)(i shall disguise names. attempt to la, in an approximation of politeness.): melly jayz, evon king, mfa pear, whiteknight dollgirl. (if dunno who, sms me again i will be glad to explain.)

so... many... hormones... cannot... take... it...

anyway after that i left to meet mr wong at island creamery where he treat me to... 1 dollar icecream. THANKS DUDE. i stupidly agreed to a dare to wear a gown and silk gloves to the farewell bbq next week... at my house. shit. i must run away.

after that i went to felicia's house (FINALLY. and people, she does not live in a hole in the ground.) with melissa to ogle at her insane pets. her hamster... looks like professor flitwick, i swear. and her bird... looks like bellatrix. scared.

now i am home and bored again and i just baked carrot cake but i think it will suck cos i HAVE NO FREAKING BAKING SODA. its for the thingy at my house tmr, where we will have chompchomp food in the backyard with carrot cake and tea and baileys and mangos and so much fun.

happiness.

Why must spore life (nyeheheh. i always laugh when i type spore.) become so bloody nice just when i are leaving? ok its COS i am leaving but, still muh.

yesterday was very boringly spent buying stationary at popular. oh but then i got this FARKING nice pair of plaid glasses that i CANNOT wait to collect. ok no one cares.

today was <3. ok but first i went to this disgusting make up lesson with mother and the make up lady whom i think hates me made me look like wayang corpse bride. wa... mm zhai la. (i... dunno in hokkien. god my dialect so goot.) then she sent me out into public so i practically ran all the way to vivo where blissfully unmadeup christine rachel luke and simon were sitting.

christine: SAM WHY THE HELL DO YOU LOOK THE WAY YOU DO?!?!?!

so. i went to toilet and scratched off my scarlet woman paint. :( i destined not to wear makeup la hor. prom pHOtos also look like sai. BECOME BOY LAH BECOME BOY.

after checking out numerous nubile men on facebook/friendster rachel said 'shall we make a move?' and we left. i hate the 'shall we make a move'. rachel pls dunch tok like gic peepers now lehz thankchews.

THEN WE GO EAT A;OIRDFKL NICE FISH SOUP AT HOLLAND V. christine was terrified to tears by secret peeking cat again so luke very cleverly made up ploy.

luke: (sees cat in corner) christine! here's your tissue!
rachel (notices cat, looks at luke)
luke: (momentary panic) ah christine, sorry i wiped my nose on the tissue
christine: EEEEEEE MUCUS! AS;LIDFJAOITHAJGLNAKFJGF
luke: dunch worry la, is just excess tears that seep into the nose.
simon: hahaha. nonsense. then shit is what.
me: ...excess food lor.
all:(general incoherence)
cat: (slinks away unnoticed.)

so crever, this luke. must crap crap.

after that went to essential brews again where time passed unnoticed, like the cat but much more pleasant. i would like to say conversation flowed on topics like religion, world peace, darfur and future ambitions and dreams, but, it didn't. and that's all i can say bout that.

oh we did this, though:
always so beeyootiful.

oh, i should add that i missed some wes gathering again tonight to meet fiends. THE ANTISOCIALISM STARTS.

and tmr i have tea at carousel with nat naomin sk! sho eggsciting. they are going to make photo scrapbook for me again LOFF VERY MUCH HEART WARM WARM.

good tahms, man. good tahms.

for you jerrine!

So you can be horny in your relatives' house until school starts! Lub choo many many!

To the rest of the world, these are jerrine's farewell presents to me:


HANDMADE SQUAREBOX CHEESECAKE AND A FLEX 'EM SHAWN MICHAELS! what else could i ask for?!?!?!
look at his incredible hulk pecs. just look at them. i shall call them bibi and baba, just cos they are so big.


cos i am a depraved pervert, here are the two men getting acquainted. bumfun, anyone? (is it just me, or does shawn REALLY look like a bloody pervert here?)

ps. farewell at airport v fun and v sad. jerrine's HUGEASS family and lesser ranked friends were angry cos we hog her, but we get first dibs cos of the sacred confab lor. my present entitled 'jerrine's men' induced tears of... horn (horniness?) and i was happy. frantic phototaking ensued which was as stressful as lim shok hoon's ss class in sec 3 but as fun as andrew chia's plantsex(tm) lessons. read all bourrit on christine's blog!

omg my freaking blog is a bloody ad for other ppls' lor. i am the wood between the worlds. (if dun unnerstand, you are loser and pls go read narnia series k thx.)

oh tonight had 9 course family dinner on my behalf at teochew restaurant. i eat until must roll home again. but the dessert got orhnee and tausa so i was happy. I LIKE DEM TEOCHEWS LA THEY ARE A GOOD AND CLEVER RACE. met my cousin's girlfriend for the first time, who was kinda disappointing. it's sad how perceptions of ppl you think you know well are shattered by their personal choices they have made entirely without your influence or consent. (shit. i think i have a BIT of god complex leh.)

oh well, whatever. sleepy. byebye.

bz bz

i only blog when i'm bored and then i have nothing to say but now when i'm busy i have no time to blog so the entire week of events... will not be documented. so i will document it now and you can skip the next few paragraphs cos they are actually not paragraphs, they are a list.

mon - second last day of work and tennis

tues - last day of work! interviewed owner of churrascaria who is going to invite me to food tasting session of his new restaurant. EXCITE. I AM GOING TO BECOME ANTHONY BOURDAIN. then free lunch at menotti and freaking nice dessert which only i ate cos everyone else... was polite. then met neighbour at night again for teh tarik. i shouted at a random indian guy walking past my table for the bill but he ignored me then i turned around and realised he came from a table of indian friends and was not... a waiter. then they all looked at me and i was scared. i think there exists a racism gene and i have a million.

wed - mhotel with friends!!!!! rachel's farewell thang which was very well attended - me rachel jerrine joy shirin christine and new additions luke and simon. twas v v fun. hotel room very big so had a lot of jumping on bed somersaulting on bed trying to sleep in bed doing yoga on floor being pretzels on floor walking on knees on floor until have carpet burns. but halfway through also got grandfather (who is victoria beckham at heart) in robe and socks who visited.

then went to mambo at night where got gross men on podium doing STUPID actions but trying to look very cool with SEI expressions on face. so irritating i want to scratch them. christine's cousin (who is very nice, in case you are reading this) bought me and jerrine a flaming samosa (curry puff leh. the name is... siao) which kinda killed me. but interesting la.

post mambo at crazy indian man's coffeeshop.

thurs - me christine jerrine rachel went to eat lunch at anonymous hawker centre after checking out cos we craved damn nice singapore food. i love me some grease, man. it is good invention. then go home and sleep and met charmaine and jasmine at night to initiate charmaine into the world of alcohol at barfly. success. this is the inebriation that was induced:

we should have been shot at birth, you know.

fri - raffles the plaza with naomin nat sk! and tea at menotti again where we had a lot of fun laughing at naomin's lousy tiramisu and my insane cake-with-a-hat. then go back to hotel room and gossip about weird pariah girls and ppl who have a lot of sex. <3<3 at night went to st james, which is not as nice as zouk, i think. but movida v v nahce cos got nice latin music and nice latin singer man. i think the best thing bout the place was the hotdog stand outside that sold damn nice hotdog but for extortionate price of 5 freaking bucks. BUT THE SAUSAGE. i want to have its babies la. ok that was damn gross pls forget i said that. yuks.

(ok i just read nat's blog and she does a DAMN good job of documenting long nights bloody funnily so i shall just post her link here and you can read if you are so inclined. -> http://peeeeenk.livejournal.com/201686.html#cutid)


sat - checked out had breakfast at yakun then went home and slept and went to cell at night. apparently i am a role model for 'being farnie' and 'nonsense'. oh well. always la, hor. is destiny. then rushed to meet jerrine cos her last night in singapore then went to watch simpsons (spiderpig, spiderpig). after that i joined her ENTIRE family (complete with sisters' boyfriends) for supper at pan pac lounge. i... am significant other alr la. then got surprise birthday cake for jerrine and i... was in the picture. so disgusting so disgusting. if mother knew ah. cannot go wesbian school alr ok. WILL BE EXORCISED.

ok. now it is 3 am and i have to see jerrine and jasmine off at airpost tmr so i have to rest now if not the emotional stress will make me assplode. tata and soz for the boring list.

cockles of heart

i love the phrase 'warm the cockles of my heart'; i do not know WHERE the hell it comes from. why are there haams in one's... muscular valve? why is warming, ie, cooking, them, akin to a fuzzy, lovelove feeling? mystery leh.

anyway. heart cockles were sufficiently warmed over past two days. fri night went to naomin's house, which was predictably and happily uneventful. we sat on sofa and talked (about disgusting ppl who sex a lot), went to her room and talked, then went back to sofa and talked. but naomin got distracted halfway by er, ghost whisperer season 2 (yes, the one with the pear-shaped jennifer love hewitt. yes, THAT lousy, grade-z made for internet-tv tv show.) so me and nat talked loudly were happy while she sat to one corner riveted by sad woman ghost.

my sec 2 friends make me very very happy, without trying to. i love the fact we can have sleepovers with us in separate rooms, barely talking, watching grey's anatomy. the comfort ah. is insane.

anyway. naomin rocks. our senses were rudely invaded by 'umberella' mtv, and naomin was VERY angry. so she cursed rihanna vehemently: i hope she get... damn looooong scar on her leg!

ok it is funny cos that was a very lousy curse and it was said with so much aaaanger. haha. well. you had to be there.

anyway in between got photowhoring like siao. but before you judge, let me show you exactly how.. whorey we are.

There. Beautiful. Nat looks disturbingly like oompaloompa/nathan (i laugh UNTIL DIE OK OMG), i look REALLY sad, and naomin... no words la.


great teeth/i look like i have iron filings on my face/nat is sad i look like jayz.



nat looks like pontianak. is really damn scary.


dang. hantu ok, i swear. moss face and blood teeth. gorgeous.



ok then cos we are girls , must redeem with pritty pritty pictures.

(shirin photoshop until damn clever. if not my face is kuali.)

saturday was adeline's birthday thang. met shirin a little earlier but she had to leave so it was adeline christine me jerrine wei rui reuben joy at hollandv coffee club for dinner then essential brews for dessert. night picked up at essential brews, cos can sit on floor and talk until cosy cosy. and now, we have an increased knowledge of the male anatomy, and the guys an increased knowledge of the girls'. (this is not as dirty as it sounds, trust me.)

we also tested the male reaction to sanitary pads (pets).
when a pad floated into wei's personal space: 'ee! yuks take it away i don't wanna touch it!'
but then... to rui: *patpat. calmly take it into two hands and play*
and then... joy put one quietly on reuben's lap: *looks down in confusion* *comprehension* *HUGE smile*

aiyoh.

the Brain also throbbed at turbo speed, this time between me jerrine and joy.
we were talkin bout some hot actor called oliver good-something.
joy: good... what? oliver goodman?
jerrine: good...lookin!
me: good... worker.
me, joy, jerrine: oliver good...dick!

throb.

sleeeeeeeeep.

I HAVE 80CM TO WRITE BUT I CANNOT. i am drunk, btw. have been since er, noon. cos i went to interview wine shop owner and he gimme damn good wine so i greedily and shamelessly drank two HUGE glasses then when i got up i swayed.

i am so unprofessional. my mother would flog me. hi mom. if you read this, the previous paragraph was a lie.

---------------------------

ok that was written yesterday and i got bored so i stopped. today is... the next day. and i still cannot write article leh. journalist's block. so loser.

wed night, went for some o' that good ol' teh tarik with long lost neighbour aka xavier, whom i haven't seen since i very unceremoniously crashed a bike in front of him two years ago.

he was talking about 'dare or don't dare' and i didn't know what the hell it was until he said 'no. 4 girl very hot' then i realised it was... 'deal or no deal'. aiyoh.

thursday was dinner at coffee club with felicia and melissa cos stoopid bitchrice felt that ntu ranked higher in her list of priorities than three lonely ex-classmates. thanks, friend.

but pls. THE EGGPLANT PARMIGIANA THERE IS CHAOCHAOCHAOCHAOCHAO GOOD LA. PLS GO THERE EAT I WILL BRING YOU AND I CAN EAT IT AGAIN AND YOU WILL FAINT COS IT IS SO GOOD. it is... eggplant and cheese and tomato sauce. how not to like ah. how.

me and felicia each wanted one dollar coin so we put extra 2dollar note when we paid up in the hopes that the waiter would return it in 2 onedollar coins... but he didn't. dammit.

shit la i cannot stop thinking about eggplant. it haunts.

felicia told us bout her pets, which are insane. the hamster mother ate all her babies, and her male lovebird is gay and henpecked. he is now called... a fearbird. this is cos felicia possesses an incredible amount of wit.

and tonight, potter session with nat and naomin! stupid sk is somewhere not near, so whatever. we're orderin pizza. whee.

bored. byebye.