i am... so not ready

deux jours deux jours deux jours my heart beri painfoo.

my feelings (or whatever vestige remains in me) catch me at the most inappropriate times - when i am eating popiah, reading nat's blog, watching america's got talent, running. then i get upwelling of tears and curling stomach and the like, for a total of like, 2 seconds. but anytime else, i have absolutely no emotions regarding my impending departure/frantic new-transient-friend-making. none. not excited, not sad, not happy, not hopeful, not anticipating, not terrified, not nostalgic, not sentimental. i just... exist. whether this is indicative of some deep-seated self-preservation strategy to remain detached so that the probability of an emotional breakdown will be negligible yadayadayada (fawn in 2 yrs you can analyse me for free! fanks!), i don't know, but the predominant sentiment that i am engulfed in is a vague, bewildered sadness that i really can't... feel.

that's not to say i won't miss everyone here like siao, but at THIS POINT IN TIME, i don't have the energy to miss everyone yet. AIYAH HEARTS SUCK LA.

ok update update! (cue signature foghorn sound.)

wed had damn good fun. met mah homies for lunch at Basil Alcove, toured the Biggest Popular In Singapore, went back to my house, played tennis while sk watched futurama on her ipod video, then had popiah and chicken wings in the backyard! aiyah i cannot convey the comfortness of being with them la, is like... comforter. (my engrish is naht verr goot, soz.) last minute sk and naomin decided to stay over while nat had to go home (:() (taht was sad face in brackets, not Nat as Alien.) and we listened to #1 greatest hits of the decade which included "oops i did it again", "wannabe" and "genie in a bottle". WHY OUR GENERATION LIDDAT HAR. why my father got beatles and rolling stones and the beegees and we get... SIMPLE PLAN AND STACIE ORRICO AND JOJO. WHY.

thurs woke up at 7 to lead friends out of my house so along the way i ran 6k. then met olivia for lunch, shareen and arun at sph for tea (kaveh was mia cos he was busy being thrown out of toysrus for 'harassing' the customers with questions about mattel) , then went to wesleyan senior's house for dinner, where we 'chillaxed', according to shirin. (god i hate that word. CHILLAX AS;LFHASO;IHAOG SHIT UP LA OMG. hahaha i typed SHIT UP! that is funny so i shall not erase it harharharharhar.)

ok here is why singapore is a a;dsfaofkjfggoig small place and i cannot wait to be NOT separated from everyone else by one degree.

at lunch with olivia: eh sph got this intern with angmoh accent lor. he go nyu 2 yrs then come back liddat alr.
oli: oh i have a cousin working there, but you probably won't know him.
me: oh ya sph very big, what's his name anyway?
me&oli: kaveh?
me: whoops.

WAH LAU CHURCH FRIEND RELATED TO HAVOC HALF-IRANIAN SPH INTERN WHO HANGS OUT WITH MODELS AT NYU.

-.-

in car with andrew, wes senior.
andrew: hey do you guys know bertram?
me&shirin: yes! the... big softballer ah. (HENG KE LAO SAI NEVER SAY ANYTHING ELSE.)
andrew: oh, he's my brother.
me&shirin in the backseat: 0.0 afhafjaufdfasfdkjhfhadf
me: so you know natalie ngoi ar.
andrew: yah.

WAH LAU. WESLEYAN MAN MEET JERRINE'S SEC 2 FRIEND. I HATE IT I HATE IT. ITCHY.

anyway, for those ppl staying in singapore, there is a real-life dobby selling tehping at the adam rd coffee shop. luke, another wes guy, swears on his life. so hor, dobby is not dead, people. he is in singapore. go check it out, yo. dobby actually mans the drink stall next to the toilet. HAHAHAHAHAHA. I LOVE THIS PARAGRAPH.

ok bye.